Love Mommy

14 Mons

Dear Sydney,

You are still so small and your life has just begun. You seem to be eager for adventure and your energy makes me wonder if one day you'll revile your brother. You yearn for independence and as I catch up and adapt to your new discoveries it is only too soon that you have discovered something else. At times I feel frustrated and exhausted, constantly being out thought by a 15 month old; but your constant smile and wondering eyes make me so happy, despite the panic or mischief you've caused. I am not going to lie the constant thumb sucking makes me worry that we are going down a frustrating and habitual path. But it brings you so much comfort and you look so innocent with tear filled eyes and a blanket nearby to rub your face with, I can't commit to pulling it out. All I can do right now is cross my fingers and hope beyond hope that your thumbs comfort is replaced, even now it seems as if it is gradually phasing out (or maybe its just my false hope).

15 Mons

One day I'll miss the days you pulled on my leg as I cooked dinner, waiting and waiting to be held only for me to turn around ready to appease you to find you've fallen asleep on the kitchen rug. A heap of tears turned to a peaceful slumber. I'll miss finding you hiding in kitchen cabinets and banging on pots and pans. But for now I'll try to ignore my lack of patience that begs me to pull at my hair and shut myself in a locked closet for a moments peace and I'll appreciate your innocence and joy in just simple things like the dancing sunlight on the carpet.

I am seriously at a loss with how fast time has gown by. To think you are my baby and yet you are now well on your way to a year and a half, wasn't it only moments ago I was holding you welcoming you to the world. You were tiny and calm, with soft slight movements, and newborn cries. Now you move much to quick for your own good, and your cries are not now primarily determined by needs but by a fistful of undetermined emotions.

15 Mons

I will be the first to admit that hearing you say "ma ma ma" is the sweetest thing ever, even if it means everything from Mom to your wanting. I love giving you the comfort of my arms and you snuggling your head in to rest or regain strength for round two makes all the whining that comes in between worth it. It is true that you are becoming quite the talker and "mama" isn't all we hear. You love babbling more and more as you grow and with a willing companion you will go at it. And your language is truly growing as you mimic us daily grasping for understanding. I think your most favorite loved word in the world is "dada" and nothing has real meaning more than that. Whether Daddy is coming or going or playing or lounging she is always anxious to be at his side often seeking him for comfort even over Mommy, sometimes. It sure brings Daddy the biggest smiles to see he has a Daddy's girl blooming.

15 Mons

Just recently your brother and sister have realized that not only does your independence mean you can play and chase, but it also means you serve as a new source of dodging blame. Which you are not always innocent of. But for the most part everyone loves attempting tricks on Mom, too bad they don't get away with as many of them as they'd like. I know you don't mind too much, you just love being in on the action, determined to catch up to your big sister and especially big brother. Sometimes you lay your head down beside sister when she is upset as if to console her. It is about the most heart melting thing you do and I can't help but love watching you two exchange kisses. I can see this sisterhood between you two already, you look to her like you do no one else. And although Bella totters on the verge of jealousy and adoration for you, her love for you is constant and I know that it grows as you grow. Connor's imagination is vast and he loves to include you in it. Whether you are the lost child or the lava monster or baby crocodile or princess you take part even now in his games, he is determined to make you a playmate and I see him in you now. Your independence and love for discovery makes it seem as if your imagination will be filled with endless possibilities one day, just as your brother's is now. And yet you have this piece of your sister, your brave little love for going solo. Hiding in the kitchen or sneaking to your room or even finding a quiet place to just curl up sweetly snore.


Love,

Mommy

14 Mons