DEANS BIRTH STORY
Saturday, July 20th
After a few days of what I kept telling myself were braxton hicks contractions, I finally gave into the fact that baby was preparing me. Saturday, July 20th I lost my mucus plug and gave into the fact that although I was hoping we could wait a few more days(since all my family was out of town at my sister's graduation) things seemed more and more likely that I was progressing. I was feeling nauseous and lots of pressure, I started getting so stressed about baby coming and not being ready and not having a plan for the kids. As contractions got more uncomfortable, instead of denying the inevitable, we went on a walk and tried some exercises to get this posterior baby to flip just in case his arrival was on its way. We all cleaned the house, I showered and prepped last minute things, I let a friend in the ward know it could be tonight and asked her if she was up to watching the kids (she had offered earlier). Shea called his brother who had offered to possibly come up and help with kids, he let him know it could be anytime. The plan was set. Robyn-my friend, could watch the kids immediately and Shea's brother would drive up to watch them for the rest of the hospital stay. It was such a relief to have a plan. As I time contractions throughout the day they seem irregular but consistent. When we get to bed I get worried about not having the kids baby books and gift bags for the hospital done, but my contractions start to fizzle out. And I warn Shea as contractions cease that this may be our new nightly routine for the next week or so. I relax somewhat relieved and slightly disappointed that it seems it was all a false alarm.
Sunday, July 21st
5 AM
I woke to my water gushing, just as if it had been broken at the hospital. I had a towel handy (although after thinking it wasn't going to be tonight wasn't laying on it). After the shock wore off Shea called his brother and I called my midwife and Robyn. My midwife asked about contractions and I let her know that they had been irregular the day before but nothing consistent, I did feel a ton of pressure though and it was only getting worse. Shea told me his plans and I urged him to hurry. Which shocked him. With every other baby I always have been very slow moving and he's the one who's been in a rush. He knew right away that things were different. We cleaned up and got the bags ready and contractions were VERY regular. It seemed as if any hope of an epidural was quickly slipping through my fingers. I was feeling more and more grateful that I was mentally prepared for an empowering natural birth.
As we headed downstairs contractions were getting more and more intense. I was able to talk between contractions but was definitely having to stop and breath during them. I still would say it was at the VERY uncomfortable level. I did my best to ignore and smile through it. It was an exciting time. Although I was getting more and more nauseous, no matter how hard I was ignoring it. After Robyn arrived, we headed out, no kids were awake. I felt bad leaving without telling them, but I hated to wake them. They had gone to bed knowing that it was very possible that the baby was coming so they wouldn't wake too surprised to find us gone.
Right before we got on the highway we started to stop at a red light, my contractions were getting pretty rough and I told Shea to "GO, RUN THE LIGHTS!" I was getting worried I'd need to start pushing in the car. We were both freaking out. Shea was forgetting where to go and I was trying not to scream. I was doing a great job keeping myself calm but it took a lot of work. I told Shea there was, No way I was getting an epidural! It was now his job to keep telling me I wanted a natural birth and that I could do this. I needed him to be in my face and strong. (He took it to heart and was amazing.) As we arrived at the hospital I was immediately relieved. My baby wouldn't be born in the car. YAY! There was some commotion with police at the hospital and Shea was confused where to park, and I did my best to not be annoyed. I just needed to get out. I urged him to find the first spot and I got out and just started walking across the lawn. Once I was in, they immediately called maternity and got me a wheelchair. I mentioned I needed to puke and a nurse mentioned she didn't know if she had anything but would look, and then I puked all over the floor. My mouth was so dry and nasty, as they wheeled me up I asked for ice ASAP. Shea made it happen first chance he got, chewing on ice was so helpful throughout.
When we made it up to maternity they started checking me in; weighing and asking questions. Seeing my obvious discomfort they put me straight into labor and delivery. Shea helped me change into a gown, afterwards I regretted not taking all those sweet hospital pre-birth pictures; but there was no thinking and no time. They tried to start my admittance but I couldn't think I had already been deferring to Shea for everything so finally I just refused admittance and asked to be checked ASAP.
6AM
9.5 cm - Still Posterior
Just to make sure I asked if I could get an epidural or any pain meds. The nurse said it was too late. As they prepared the room... I felt more and more pressure and the urge to push I let them know and they grabbed a random doctor and I started pushing. (They considered me completely dilated at 6:15). They want to put an IV in me, I'm not sure why (maybe for emergencies?!?). Either way I was in so much pain they couldn't get in well and then once it was in it kept "falling out" ?!?
...
At this point things were a blur of exhaustion and confusion. My midwife did arrive in the midst. There was no progress and I was still a 9.5 she was frustrated they had me start pushing when I wasn't fully dilated but there was no going back. Things were just a lot harder it seemed then they had to be. For the rest of the time she had me in different positions in hopes to get him down and in a better position. I started a MANTRA. I can't remember for the life of me what the exact words were so instead of making something up, I'll just state it was SO HELPFUL! At one point Shea was like "Wow she's bleeding all over?!?" (There was blood all over my face and pillow... He thought I had gouged myself from the pain or something.) But false alarm I had just ripped the IV out again. Fortunately at this point my midwife was like we are not doing the IV anymore. Forget that. The nurses were annoyed and left. (Eventually a couple trickled back in.) Shea kept supplying me with ice, and wet cloths and cheered me on until I was worried he'd miss getting to "catch" the baby so he got suited up and was more on the doctor end. But nothing was working no matter how hard I tried or how good I pushed I asked and every push it seemed there was little to no progress or he moved down and back. I felt defeated and exhausted. I never screamed, which I was proud of. But I was still pretty loud breathing and grunting and moaning. I kept thinking it's not the pain it's the exhaustion that's killing me. At the end I just was afraid there was no hope, even the oxygen, (which has always been amazing for every other delivery) made no difference. Shea kept saying "I can see him... He is right there... He has dark hair." I was so frustrated.
I hated asking after every push if I was getting closer but I couldn't help it. Finally I just started pleading and praying, and even hoping that they would give up and say I needed a C-Section, because I had nothing left I was done.
7:25 AM
And then when my midwife had her back turned and was pretty much ready to give up FINALLY with prayer and exhaustion as my main companions FINALLY! HE CAME!
I had to physically push each of baby's limbs from my body. With Syd my body did the work and she just pushed out. No effort. This was the other end of the spectrum, only his head came out ... crying... and I had to push for his shoulders... and body... and legs. Maybe it was because I was just so weak or he was just in such a wild position. Or maybe both. It was an inch by inch delivery. He was caught on my pubic bone so he had a large dent and little cut on his head from scraping it (notice his poor head in the picture below). Shea "helped" catch the baby considering my midwife was trying to pull baby along as well to help with delivery. Shea said it was a bit awkward because he felt like they were fighting over who was getting the baby out. My midwife even apologized to Shea after because she didn't communicate well and didn't let him "catch" because baby was so awkwardly presenting. She also felt bad that they hadn't gone over my birthing plan (that for once I had actually made...), but there wasn't a whole lot of time. It was all intensely delivery time instead of laboring at the hospital with waiting time.
Shea asked afterwards if I had prayed because he thought it was over everyone was asking about C-section opinions and then there his head was.
DEAN SHEA STANGER
7:29 AM
7 lbs 6 oz
19.5 in
My Midwife was awesome. She was so encouraging and so sweet. Afterwards she checks on me before she leaves and just sits beside me in my bed holding my hand, telling me everything from her perspective and assuring me how proud she is of me and how hard this labor was, she remarks that it was the worst posterior position (ROP with brow presentation). I feel so unbelievably grateful to have had her through this. Yes this was my hardest delivery. But happiest. I have my rainbow baby. After a year of loss I finally get to hold this long awaited child. And yes it took a lot of work, but I did it and after such a year there was a part of me that wanted to feel every second of what I missed out on twice over. Heavenly Father gave me that. He prepared me in every way and as hard as it was it was an answer to so many prayers on so many different levels. I cannot describe to you the exhaustion I endured but the joy I felt was like nothing I have ever felt before.
I know the drill so I start skin to skin and nursing right away. The nurses come in and suggest it, and then laugh as they say "oh right your a pro". I wouldn't say that considering during our hospital stay we still ask about a thousand new parent questions you'd probably think we'd remember all the answers to, but we are just so excited we want to be perfect. We do have the whole baby lovin thing down though. And we can't stop begging each other for turns to hold this guy.
They had us hang out for as long as we wanted in delivery and then when we were ready to move we went to recovery. Everything happens in the recovery room now so I get to see first bath and shots, and blood draws and all that fun. Usually Shea went with baby for all that while I waited. It was special to see it all first hand. I was exhausted but also so hyped up on adrenaline I couldn't sleep because I wanted to just watch our Dean every second.
It was still pretty early so around lunch time I got all cleaned up so the kids could come to visit, everyone was on a high. I didn't get the perfect pictures I wanted and their sibling bags weren't done and I hadn't finished their baby books and we didn't get a chance to video their reaction coming in to meet baby; but if I do say so myself I did a good job... just letting it go, and being in the moment. These moments were mine and although they weren't the way I imagined, or captured the way I wanted I enjoyed it for what it was. Pure joy. They couldn't wait to see baby, and of course Mom and Dad.
Fortunately this time I didn't have to struggle with an IV while they visited, it was long gone. So no one had to worry about the needles in Mom, my hand was just sore and bandaged up. (Originally I was afraid they were going to try and stick one in after delivery but in recovery after I asked, my nurse was like we won't worry about it. My hand looked pretty scary from bruises for several days though after having been stuck so many times and an IV falling out or getting ripped out.)
Connor wanted to hold baby right away and sat down and got ready the moment he was inside the room, which since we went youngest to oldest he had to wait anxiously for. But he held him longest so it worked perfect.
Bella just wanted to sing and watch him, she was a little worried holding him just because he was so little and fragile. She was so sweet though gentle touching her nose to his. In an effort to touch him, but not wanting to move her arms.
Sydney was a wrecking ball as always, with boisterous laughter she held him eagerly and soon after whipped her hands up to say I'm done. She ran around the room, climbed all over Mom played in the bathroom...yep. Well actually every child wanted to use the bathroom so it wasn't a shock and it was well cleaned for their arrival. Something about a new place to go, makes it all the more exciting. Mainly she just wanted to talk with Mom and Dad.
Piper was in awe of baby. And as youngest's always are it seems worried about Mom. She took front and center Mom cuddle spot and enjoyed watching baby from afar. Pointing and smiling at him constantly.
When it was time to go it was a little hard. Dad walked them out and I wish I remembered exactly but the younger girls were upset and talking about how they missed Mom. So Jared put on a crazy song and played it super loud with the windows rolled down to distract them. They all ended up in fits of laughter as they recounted the story that night on Facetime.
Shea got us Outback to eat especially since the hospital food had gone down hill (and the hill wasn't high to begin with). And poor Shea, the companion snack station was gone because people had taken advantage of it. It was frustrating to me because he couldn't even get me anything I had to ask my nurse for one thing at a time and there wasn't much. I tried to not be annoyed. Instead I was extremely grateful I packed myself a box of KIND bars and they came in super handy for the late night hours. Shea got us food when he went out and I ate the hospital food too. I'm always famished after delivery. Of course Dean slept amazing the first night, as most babies do especially after such a long delivery. So mental note this does not mean your baby is a great sleeper.
Monday, July 22nd
We had to stay in the hospital an extra day due to the confusion over our pediatrician, first the nurse wrote down the wrong one and then a random doctor came that confused everyone and scared us a little; finally it got all worked out and the right one came.
We also were waiting on a Dr to do the circumcision, all day Monday we waited for someone for the circumcision. We kept getting a mix of answers about who was going to do it and who could do it (due to the pediatrician mix ups) then we were told they were going to send us home to deal with it ourselves. Which was freaking me out. Finally though it got worked out and they discovered our pediatrician wouldn't do it in office so we had to wait till a Dr was free.
Dean's continued failed hearing test (right side) was also a factor in our continued stay. There was construction going on which we didn't notice the first day it being Sunday, and most of Monday they thought he just kept failing but finally they discovered the construction kept throwing the results off.
We Facetimed the kids around bedtime and they loved telling us all sorts of adventures they were having with their Uncle Jared. It was the hugest relief and I felt so grateful. Shea's brother was going above and beyond, taking them bike riding and out to dinner, even singing them fart songs to go to bed... thanks for that one.
Shea grabbed us food after we said goodbye, Dean was a bit fussy so we watched a disaster show my Mom had recommended a while back, I love disaster shows I am always in the mood for them. I probably get it from my Mom, since in another life she would have been a tornado chaser. After the movie we couldn't stop and found a disaster mini series called Ring of Fire. It was a fun night and I didn't want to sleep but I did my best afterwards since Shea and baby were both out.
Tuesday, July 23rd
In the middle of the night/wee hours of the morning they did the circumcision and everything went great he slept perfectly after because of the meds they give for the circumcision. Then the early morning before the construction began they gave the hearing test and he passed, then we just got all cleaned up and ready while we waited for the Dr to come in and make sure the circumcision was healing correctly.
Finally it was time to go, I love dressing baby up to go it is the first time they feel like they are really yours. I get to keep him!
Sidenote: I was recovering great just back pain from the labor and the lovely afterbirth cramping.
We went out to breakfast with all the kids and Uncle Jared and had a blast! I was wiped when we got home so I just wanted to snuggle baby and sleep.
(Actually Jared ended up leaving the night we got home, the next day the kids (even Piper) were all asking when he was going to babysit them again. It was definitely a special time I hope they never forget.)
Fortunately, this time around we had so much to look forward to still with swim lessons starting up and school around the corner and Shea's AMAZING PATERNITY LEAVE = 2 MONTHS HOME (actually it was 4 months but he switched jobs so he didn't take the full leave). Both Shea and I planned on me basically living upstairs relishing in new baby bliss, while Shea managed the crew.
After a few days I started coming down for a movie at night, but honestly I loved that time away to relax, netflix binge, be waited on, focusing on baby and nursing and recovering (Shea even changed all the poopy diapers and got up with him at night). My postpartum blues did come eventually but it was in waves and Shea was amazing. Shea had wanted and waited for this baby too, he had experienced loss too, and he wanted everything to be perfect for baby and me. And it really was.
