A Little Lesson in Love

Sometimes we have to set some time aside for "US" time. We try and do an "US" date every other date. Connor has fun playing at the Stanger house, while we get to have time together, away from routine worries. We try very hard not to discuss finances or work or chores. Sometimes we play a game I like to call "You make me happy!" we go back and forth telling each other things that we love about each other since we've been married. (This is especially a good game after a bad day or "disagreement" or if your in a "slump".) You get such a good feeling hearing how much you make your spouse happy, with little to big things. Like, "I love that you do the dishes, because I hate doing dirty dishes" or "I love that you are such a careful driver, and are always giving me tips in an uplifting way." It makes such a difference to feel appreciated and just inspired to continue daily life, because you know your spouse is at your side. Sometimes I admit I feel like "Wow, I do so much. And he doesn't notice." But this game is like a rejuvenation that he does notice and that what I do is important and is appreciated and it makes us both happy. Even if every little thing you do doesn't get mentioned, it helps me realize why I do what I do everyday.

Anyway some Tuesdays we like to have a $2 Movie Night. We show up an hour early, to walk and talk and play our game. We both love date night.

While talking recently we discussed how sad it is the state of marriage has become. People commonly get divorced and infidelity is far from a rare aspect of society. It makes us both cringe to think of friends or ward members that struggle in their marriage and give up. It is just sad and we can't help but think what happened, how could you just abandon the person you vowed to keep happy and the person you were sealed to for eternity. Obviously the media and the world are weighing matters that tear families apart.

Shea and I are just so against divorce and so committed and loyal people that it kills us to know that a marriage has failed for someone we even remotely know. We communicate really well and sometimes I think our communication is on overdrive. But I love it. I tell Shea every little aspect of my day and if I don't get a call and several texts from him throughout the day I am depressed because I am missing him SO much. I know it makes me sound pathetic, but I seriously love feeling so close to him and that we are a part of each others day, even when we are not with each other. I love hearing about how his day went and what made him sad or mad or happy. We feel the happiest together and it is devastating to think that some marriages are on the brink because they lack unity.
This is not to say we are perfect by any means, we both have flaws and weaknesses. But we feel so good about our marriage and so loved in it that it just hits me sometimes how lucky we are. We are so lucky to be loved and to be happy and to feel strength through one another.
This talk was shared in our ward recently, and I really enjoyed it and all the little things we can do to keep that "oneness in marriage" there:

Excerpt from "Oneness in Marriage" by Pres Spencer W Kimball
 "Love is like a flower, and, like the body, it needs constant feeding. The mortal body would soon be emaciated and die if there were not frequent feedings. The tender flower would wither and die without food and water. And so love, also, cannot be expected to last forever unless it is continually fed with portions of love, the manifestation of esteem and admiration, the expressions of gratitude, and the consideration of unselfishness.
 Total unselfishness is sure to accomplish another factor in successful marriage. If one is forever seeking the interests, comforts, and happiness of the other, the love found in courtship and cemented in marriage will grow into mighty proportions. Many couples permit their marriages to become stale and their love to grow cold like old bread or worn-out jokes or cold gravy. Certainly the foods most vital for love are consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness, concern, expressions of affection, embraces of appreciation, admiration, pride, companionship, confidence, faith, partnership, equality, and interdependence."

Life is just better when you look at your spouse and can say "I am happy!".