WE began with blueberry muffins, cards, and a large Reeses package. Daddy got to sleep in and enjoy his dreaming, while Mommy picked up the house and bathed our babies. Then when Daddy woke, babies slept, while we got ready for church. After dressing in Sunday best we met Shea's family at the church. They watched our children while we sat on the stand and give talks on Father's. It all went relatively well. We ended with a dinner with the Stanger Family.
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WE are all so grateful for the Daddy in our home.
Here is an excerpt from my talk that I would like to share...
"I know a wonderful Father that I get to watch, love and support every day, my husband. I love my husband dearly. I cannot describe to you what it means to me to be so loved and to enjoy your spouse entirely. I never thought being in a tiny apartment, with little money, having a husband in school, while tending to two children, in a small town, could all bring me so much joy. But my husband makes all the difference, in our home. Howard W. Hunter said, “You should express regularly to your wife and children your reverence and respect for her. Indeed, one of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” I am happy to report that I am so blessed to feel loved and cared for by my husband; and to see him teach, inspire, and light up around our two children. When I was pregnant with our first child, my husband and I were excited and overwhelmed with happiness. He would hold babies and light up and just be in complete bliss, I remember thinking, this is what I always wanted. I wanted a man that would look at new life with this adoration. After months of waiting and anticipating his arrival we were very ready for our son to come, and finally Connor decided to grace us with his presence. Let me tell you when he first arrived I was in shock. I thought after imagining this moment again and again, I would be ready and itching to earn that Mommy name. But to be honest, I was scared. I thought to myself while they wrapped his tiny body and rubbed him clean:
“This is not real.
I cannot do this.
I can’t be a Mom.
I don’t know what I was thinking.”
And then my husband gave me this tiny bundle and I was at peace. For about two seconds before the nurse leaned in and told me to feed him… WELL that just started my fears on fire. I looked to my husband and said “How do you feel?” wondering to myself how we were going to be able to do this. He responded simply “I can’t imagine life without him”. Already my husband was a father, and I was a mother no matter how scared I was. From the moment that boy came into our lives he had a special Daddy bond, that at times I have been jealous of. But I will never forget that assurance those simple words brought me. “I can’t imagine life without him.” Within moments my husband gained a whole new role and yet fatherhood took him on completely without thought. He adored, cared, protected and loved that little bundle and now at two he is more like a tornado, but nothing makes my husband and son more happy than playing together or snuggling on the couch. In the last year we added a darling girl to our family, and I know a daughter seemed a little scary and a little foreign to my husband. But in reality that day came and our Bella was born, calm and happy from the start. She taught Daddy all he needed to know with lots of practice and lots of laughs along the way. He can now say he is a dress buying, pink loving, bow primping, girl holding Daddy."
I love Shea and I am so grateful for all he does in our home...
Whether it is being excited for fatherhood for the first time,
rocking fussy babies to sleep,
teaching them the joy of swinging,
preparing an only child for a sister to come within hours,
falling in love with his daughter from the start,
playing swords in stores with our Con,
Thank you DADDY!
Love,
Mommy
In the Sept 2006 Ensign James E. Faust directed his First
Presidency Message to Fathers Who Care, writing: “In order to strengthen the
father in the home: first, sustain and respect the father in his position;
second, give him love, understanding, and some appreciation for his efforts …
In terms of giving fathers love and understanding, it should be remembered that
fathers also have times of insecurity and doubt. Everyone knows fathers make
mistakes—especially they themselves. Fathers need all the help they can get;
mostly they need love, support, and understanding from their own.”
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AS for my own father, I am very grateful for him and his influence on our home. I shared a lot about my Dad in my talk and it was hard to share that which is personal and yet I know that the spirit was guiding me in my preparation.
"My father and I had a rough relationship of sorts. My Dad
grew up in a strict military home where he was raised physically to listen and
obey, both his parents were alcoholics and he was primarily raised by his live
in nanny. He rebelled like mad, crashing 18 cars, running from home for a year,
and surrounding himself with a local gang. At 18 he was introduced to the
church on a Navy ship, after coming home he threw away the book not knowing
that his sister would pick it up and read it. Months later she joined. My Dad
looked up everything to try and convince her she was crazy only proving to
himself that all this anti-mormon stuff was crazy, so he looked for the truth
and found it in a baptismal font three years later. His life was not one of
ease and love. He struggled and endured. He met my Mom at 35 in a singles ward
in Maryland, they were married and sealed a few years later. More than anything
my Dad couldn’t wait for fatherhood. With a home like his you would have
thought he would dread it, but he wanted nothing more than a home filled with
children. He raised all five of us with love and affection and support that
which he had never known from a parent. My Dad never heard “I love you” from
his father, even after begging at his deathbed for three simple words. In our
home we heard “I love you” multiple times a day, from everyone. Every time we
left the house or ended a phone call or got a hug or heard a prayer it was
routine to say “love you”. Our home was filled with LOVE. I am so grateful for
the influence my Dad had on our home.
In a talk by HOWARD W. HUNTER, entitled Being a Righteous
Husband and Father, he states: “We encourage you, brethren, to remember that
priesthood is a righteous authority only. Earn the respect and confidence of
your children through your loving relationship with them. A righteous father
protects his children with his time and presence in their social, educational,
and spiritual activities and responsibilities. Tender expressions of love and
affection toward children are as much the responsibility of the father as the
mother. Tell your children you love them.” End of quote.
When I was small I would prance around as a child and sing
and dance and perform when my Daddy would come from work or trips. He took me
on my field trips and even went to all my Girl Scout activities with me, (since
my mom was home with small children or pregnant), to be honest he loved them
too. He went to my brother’s soccer games and then decided to coach them, going
to a coaching camp and soon enjoying pizza parties and many, many thanks from
parents and kids on his team. He decided to coach because he loved his children
and wanted to be involved as much as he could, he didn’t realize his love for
children instead of the game would influence so many and make all the
difference. But it did. And when my brother’s left the game, my Dad did too,
and many pleaded with him not to go. Foremost my father was a Dad and he
followed his children where he could.
In my teenage years my Dad was asked to leave on active
National Guard duty for 2 years, following the 9/11 incident. I will not describe
to you the trials my family faced during those years but life without a father
in the home is unimaginably hard. My heart goes out to those that face that in
its entirety. My Dad returned to financial concerns, sons struggling in school,
and a daughter who had put up a lot of walls. I was that daughter. I had helped
my mom run the home and was not inclined to give up my new role. I had felt
abandoned and misunderstood and overall hormonal. Needless to say my Dad and
I’s daddy daughter relationship turned into that of WWIII. Our home was filled
with outside burdens and inside screaming. It wasn’t exactly pleasant.
... But despite everything my Dad loved, encouraged,
supported, and treasured each and every one of us. He constantly was telling us
how proud he was and how smart we were, how athletic or talented. No matter
what we did we shined in our Dad’s eyes and we knew it. After years of growing
and now looking back and seeing the side of a parent and adult, I am happy to
say my Dad and I are much closer and have resolved anything we may have felt in
the past. I share these experiences with you now because being a father is not
easy, even if you are doing your best. I am so fortunate for what I have
learned, and I cherish those daddy daughter days as a child."
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